Life update 6/14/17: Random tips and tricks of survival

So I work in a department that is 98% women and for some reason, everyone is batshit cray this week.

Everyone is hella rude and catty. It’s just too much!

I’m not one of those girls that “can’t hang around females because they’re too much drama”. I live for drama, as long as I’m not in it, but dammnnn these women are a whole new level for me.

It’s just hella draining to come to work and people aren’t focused on minding their business and getting money! I’m damn sure I’m not the only one with bills that need to be paid!

Other than that being a working millennial sucks.

My heart tells me to get a group of friends, travel around the world, dance with locals in different countries, and run in the rain barefoot…

….but my mind says I need to do this 9-5, pay off my loans, go to school and get more loans, so that I can do all the things my heart wants to do when I’m 92 and my titties are on the floor.

Goal: Let me titties be free and do a mixture of heart and mind

Reality: Try not to sleep as much so I CAN do a mixture of heart and mind.

Tip: If a fine ass, tall, dread-headed man sends you a dm asking when you’re gonna twist him up, you have two options:

Run or buss it open.

I’ve had Ctrl by Sza playing on repeat since it came out and I have no regrets. None.

I’ll be on the bus tryna fight back tears humming “I can be your supermodel if you belieeeeeeeeveeeee.”

…in my car like “You can never trivializeeee PUSSYYYYY”


Compared to her previous work, I relate to this album so much it’s a bit scary.

On every track she dives into yet another story line that we as women have all been apart of or have watched one of our girls go through and it’s just real.

This album makes me want to date people just to act out the songs my guy.

…but I won’t.

Tip: Never feel bad about making a gut decision. In the end you’ll find out that he cheated on his girlfriend with two of her friends and you’ll be glad you didn’t give in to his BS.

Trick: Always bring a book and a big bag on the bus if you don’t want people to sit next to you when the bus is 70% empty. 8/10 they will respect the fact that you’re reading and will not bother you to move your bag in order to sit down. I encourage you to smile to yourself that you’ve averted any and all awkward interactions.

Trick: Clock in to work a good 30 min earlier than your start time, put a bunch of papers on your desk, and have the phone attached to you ear when people come close to your desk. This way, you avoid people asking you to do things for them before you actually start working, and you can write your blog in peace.

Tip: Keep your friends close, and your enemies on social media to have access to only when you feel like being messy.

Trick: When you wear a dress/skirt and your booty has gotten thicker and your melanin is on fleek, keep a cardigan wrapped around your waist to keep the wandering eyes of old men on H&M instead of on your assets. Their X-Ray vision will be blocked and you will be 20% more protected from visual violation.


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