Wasss poppin beautiful people!?! I hope ya’ll had an amazing week with nothing short of blessings.
What imma need you to do for me is get in a comfortable chair, fix your robe, and get your favorite tea cup ya’ll because I WAS TRIED.
Let’s start off with the good stuff though, a lil somethin’ light.
If you’ve been keeping up with my life like the weirdos ya’ll are, you’d know that this week was my first official week at my new job! Training in east bumfuck is done and now I’m getting hands on training in the bland ass cubicles; I’m loving it.
I love waking up at the crack of dawn to get played by Boston weather to then go to a job that has no windows; it’s what I’ve been dreaming of for as long as I can remember. Honestly.
All jokes aside, I feel truly blessed to have this opportunity because the knowledge I’m gonna get from this place is amazing for my resume, ANDDDD they have tuition reimbursement so you already snow I’m going back to school.
Anywho, the week was going pretty well, but the lady who’s training me tried it.
My MANAGER, told me that we don’t get paid for overtime unless we request it in advance so when it’s time to go, it’s time to go.
TELL ME WHYYYYY I LEFT WORK AT 5:40 MORE THAN ONCE!!!
Bruh, who is paying me for that 40min? DEFINITELY NOT OL’ GIRL WHO KEPT ME THERE DOING HER WORK!
When I tell ya’ll I was tight. Smh.
Girl, I work from x to y and I got plans after work. God forbid if I had to get to a class or whatever!
… and even if I don’t have plans, I gotta get home to prepare for the 2hrs of sleep i’ll get before the next day! Shoot.
So while I’m getting played at work, the universe saw it fit for MR.TOLERABLE to try and play me once I got home.
If you don’t know who Mr.Tolerable is, go and read my other post (I won’t tell you which one so you have to sift through all of them. MUHAHAHAHA)
Long story short we didn’t talk since I dubbed his ass and by the turn of fate we ended up having a conversation on the phone.
Conversation started off fine with the normal how are you, I’m fine and you and then we started talking about how he wants to move into his own apartment again.
Ya’ll know me, I’m always tryna be captain save a hoe and look for ways to make the world a place of roses and lilies for any and everyone, but the lord should’ve warned me about this one.
WARNING: YOU MAY FEEL TRIED WHILE READING THE REST OF THIS POST. IN THE CASE OF SUCH AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE USE THE NEAREST CHURCH FAN.
So while we’re on the phone I’m helping him brainstorm possible roommates and places to look for affordable housing, and he tells me that he would rather live with a girl than a dude.
Ok, cool. Everybody has their preferences on what works for them, so I’m like ok, let’s think about some chill girls you know that you wouldn’t mind living with, and he goes
…SHE WOULDN’T LIKE THAT.
Negro, who is “she”? She who? Which She?
At this point I’m thrown because we literally stopped talking like a week or two ago and although I dubbed him, it would mean that he was talking to her while he was talking to me. Not only that, homeboy made it VERY clear that he wasn’t looking for a relationship once we got good and comfortable with each other.
Anyway, I pulled myself out of shock and realized that we didn’t make any commitment to each other and we were both single so even if it was a day after we stopped talking he could’ve been on to the next one.
…and who knows, maybe this new chick was what he needed!
So I start pumping him up like “ok, check you out!” blah blah blah, and here he goes with “yeah, she asked me out. no girl has ever asked me out before” yadda yadda.
Negro, ain’t nobody ask you alladat.
Now, fast forward to yesterday.
HOMEBOY CALLS ME AND ASKS ME TO GO TO THE BEACH.
Ya’ll. Yesterday, it was like 48 degrees and dropping by the minute and he asked me to go to the freaking beach.
I’m like, “to do what? it’s freaking cold”
“WE DON’T HAVE TO LEAVE THE CAR”
Excuse me? You’re telling me that I’m gonna get in my car, use my good up good up gas to come and pick your behind up from west bumfuck, drive to the beach in the cold ass weather, and stay in the car until all hours of the night doing nothing.
He then hits me with the sorry ass excuse of, “man, I haven’t seen you since we first hung out and I’m tryna get out the house”.
Boy, bye. Tell me how that’s my problem.
Then I’m like, wait a gosh-darn minute, don’t you have a girl?
Ya’ll, what this boy said to me next had my stomach hurting with laughter. I WAS DEAD!
This negro opened up his mouth, curled his lips and had the audacity to say to me….
“I CAN HAVE FRIENDS”.
NIGGGGAAAAAAAAAA, IF YOU DON’T GET YA SORRY IMMA-HAVE-MY-CAKE-AND-EAT- MY-PIE-TOO HAVING ASS….
Boyyyyyyy, was I dead. I was like “uh uh. nope. you may have friends but I don’t go to beaches at night to sit in no car with no friend that has a girl. thanks for inviting me though. k bye”
Ya’ll, idk why these boys out here think I’m dumb! Like, you really thought that I was gonna be down to “chill” at the beach in the car with you when you already told me earlier that YOU HAVE A GIRL! Not only that, I DUBBED YOU FOR A REASON, be out my contacts and out my life!
He really tried my entire life with that “I can have friends” bs. Lawd.
Even though I felt like I lost 365,000 brain cells for even entertaining that conversation I’m grateful that it happened. It really showed me that following my instinct and doing what was best for me works out.
Ya’ll don’t feel no type of way for me, I ain’t stressing over Mr.Tolerable for NUH-THING. Shoot. Besides, I went on a date with a puerto rican tatted cutie that took me out for sushi. Ya girl still got the juice ya’ll, don’t sleep on me.